The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
