I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
