On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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