you traded sex for a burrito?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dear god my vagina.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
