I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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