How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
