Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
