I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
