I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
