redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
