So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If I die, sorry about rent.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
