So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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