yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
