I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
