I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
