tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she told me i tasted like america
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
