True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
