Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
