I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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