I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
