loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
