Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize