Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
