How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
