in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
pop tarts are not kleenex
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
