just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
