I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
