she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
