she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
