We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
