Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
