That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
