Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
