i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This is my gift to your gina
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
