i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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