I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
