I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize