Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
