Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
