found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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