In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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