when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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