This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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