i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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