i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
