K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
