it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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