The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
