you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
