4 words: hood of his car
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
