when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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